A wise man (EbenGregory) once said that a fanatic is one who can't change her mind and won't change the subject. In another useless news report called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Superhead uses her new book to help Jaime Foxx, Mike Tyson and Whitney Houston move their personal business to Front Street.
In EbenGregory's world, friends aren't jumper cables...you don't throw them into the trunk and pull them out for emergencies. That is unless your names Cam'ron. In another esoteric episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Jim Jones gets cozy with 50 Cent while mulling his options to jump the Dip Set ship.
The first casualty of war is usually the truth, that is, if you're listening to EbenGregory tell it. In another random episode of foolishness called THE JEWELRY REPORT, 50 Cent tells Cam'ron to get his eye fixed after being knocked the f*ck out by Roc-A-Fella recording artist Tru-Life.
EbenGregory wonders when it comes to the fork in the road, does Diddy always go right? In a new episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Diddy indulges in tantric love-making for 30 hours straight while dodging a gay fat man at a London Club. Four words: Take that, take that.
Let EbenGregory tell it...juice is bad!!! In another non-shocking episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, EbenGregory provides non-hard-hitting news reporting as he investigates why 50 Cent, Timbaland and Mary j Blige were named in the New York State steroid investigation.
Let EbenGregory tell it, any relationship in which two people become one, the end result is two half people. In another exciting boring episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Young Buck gives a no holds barred interview while spilling the beans on his failing relationship with 50 Cent.
Since the news is light this week, The Jewelry Man and EbenGregory shoot from the hip and report random news on Lil Wayne, Prodigy, Remy Ma & Beanie Sigel
Let EbenGregory tell it, the solution of every problem is another problem...ask DMX. In another happy go lucky episode of non-foolishness called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Juelz Santana reveals how Cam'ron balla blocked his money until he was sold to Def Jam for $2 million.
Let EbenGregory tell it, everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life-only a lucky few have the same one...ask Jim Jones. In another dumb episode of non-funny called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Camron squashes the beef with Juelz and sells his contract to Def Jam for $2 million in cash.
In EbenGregory's world, experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes...but I ain't talking about Wayne. In another hard-hitting episode of non-journalism called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Lil Wayne catches another case after being busted by DEA agents for having drugs and guns on his person.
When there is no news, EbenGregory reports non-news with the same emphasize as if it were...news. In another episode of random foolishness, Akon makes a country album, Beanie Sigel goes to jail, Max B gets shot and T.I. goes free...kinda.
Let EbenGregory tell it...marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution? In another non-exciting episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Jeezy tells Keyshia Cole that he's not gonna be able to do it after she asked for his hand in marriage.
Let EbenGregory tell it, marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out...you lose interest. In another non-exciting episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, Jay-Z and Beyonce apparently are ready to take their relationship to the next step after applying for a marriage license.
Let EbenGregory tell it, everything's funny as long as it's happening to someone else. In another non-hating episode of THE JEWELRY REPORT, 50 Cent embarrasses Young Buck by releasing a taped conversation which reveals details of Buck's dire financial situation.
Let EbenGregory tell it, telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it? In another 8 minute episode of bullsh*t called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Rick Ross denies the rumor allegedly started by Trick Daddy that he was a former CO in Dade County. Two words: Wet t-shirt!!!
Let EbenGregory tell it, the truth is more important than the facts. In another episode of serious funny non-controversy of information called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Trick Daddy breaks his silence on Rick Ross and whether or not he was responsible for leaking the C.O. photos of the Boss.
Let EbenGregory (and Akon) tell it, a lie told often enough becomes the truth. In the latest episoe of foolishness called THE JEWELRY REPORT, Akon and his gangster lifestyle gets exposed as fraud. One word...boo!